In the Shadow of the Smokestack
an oral history of Mexican Americans in Morenci, Arizona

 

Thomas Mendez Ybarra

Married Life

"[I met my wife] when I was in school. I was older. [We decided to marry] when I asked her. It was much later after [I came back from Teacher’s College in Flagstaff].

I used to have a girlfriend and I was going to marry her. Her father died and she moved to California. We used to write to each other and then I got a big surprise. I had given her an engagement ring and I was ready to move on. Then all of a sudden I got a letter breaking the engagement. I felt very bad. Yes, [she sent the ring back to me] without an explanation or anything. I did not know what to do.

I had very high aspirations but I am very, I do not know. It is like I do not want to risk things. When I got together with my wife, I had no direction. I did not know where to go. I wanted to leave but I did not know to where. I had an aunt and uncle in Fresno and I wanted to go there. I started to meet with my wife [to be] and I told her about it. I remember very well the letter I received. It was in my new car where I asked her and she playfully answered me. “There is nothing between us,” I said. “No,” she said. I already had planned to get, as they say the unfortunate permission. She told me, “Yes, I will marry you.” That is how it happened.

I decided to stay in Morenci. I did not want to leave the job. Then it became quite a story. Her father was reluctant, and many things occurred. I could write a book. Don Patricio Flores was his name. That was her father. Doña María Flores [was her mother].

I have Tom, Ida, and Daniel. Three [children]. He [Daniel] is here [in Tucson]. He was in the Marines and Tom was in the army. Very intelligent, Danny is but he stays apart.


We [my wife and I went] to dances only on one or two occasions in Fresno. We used to go to the Coronado Trail, just riding in the car. That is when I felt that I was sick but I did not know what was wrong with me. I got dizzy. I thought it was my stomach, because I burped but I think it was the darn diabetes.

I wanted college for them [my children] but Danny did not want to. I have a grandson, Leo who is very intelligent. He is here [in Tucson] now. I used to tell him to finish his schooling. He told me, “No, I know more than the ones who are there.

 

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